Christmas Eve - Eve

Before all the holiday craziness begins tomorrow, Tony and I wanted to let Caleb open just one present. It was so much fun to watch him, he finally understands what a present is and how to actually open it. The next couple days are going to be a blast!!

This is his new "I'm kinda posing for you mom" pose!

At this point he figured it out what it was and got really excited.

He spent the next hour vacuuming the house. LOL he even got the hand tools out and did the furniture just like mommy!

He was absolutely distraught when bedtime came but he was just soo tired we had to tear it out of his hand to put him to bed.

Halloween!

I just realized I haven't done a blog post about our halloween yet. We had fun, a nice quite evening at home. Passed out candy, and went trick or treating. Caleb had a blast and was just so excited every time a piece of candy dropped in his bag. He also learned how to say 'trick or treat' over the 30-45 minutes he was out going door to door.

Anyway here's my little pirate!
This is before the festivities when he was coloring, I just love the pure joy on his face!






and here is how he got around for the evening:

Loss

I debated if I wanted to share this with the world or not, but I think it might help me cope and begin to move on. I actually wrote this post almost a month ago, I really wasn't sure if I was actually going to post it or not but here goes:


Not to many people knew this but I was pregnant. September 23rd, the day my beautiful healthy nephew was born, I found out that I had lost my precious baby. Even though I should have been 12 weeks along and past the scary part, my poor baby stopped growing at only 8 weeks. They call it a missed miscarriage. I've been walking around with my baby not growing, not living for almost 4 weeks now. I don't know when I'll actually have the miscarriage, and its scary. I really don't want to have the D&C procedure, I want to go natural as much as possible but how long can I do this for? Just waiting, waiting to get closure, waiting to be done, waiting. Everything about this pregnancy was just too perfect. Perfect timing, little to no symptoms, I knew in my heart it was a little girl.


One of the hardest parts of all this is that I was sooo happy for my brother and his wife after bringing their first child into this world. but to go from my appointment to the hospital and be 'happy' is so incredibly hard. He is such a perfect little baby boy, how could I not think of my little one who wasn't with me anymore. And as another reminder a friend of ours is also expecting her first one, her due date - a few days before mine should have been.


-----------------------------


Fast forward to today, 20 Oct 2009. A lot more has happened since my missed miscarriage. Apparently after you mentally know about the missed m/c your body does one of two things, nothing, or starts to actually have the miscarriage. My body did the latter, a couple days later I began having contractions and losing the baby. It was suppose to be just a heavy period. That Sunday I thought after losing 5 huge clots and lots of bleeding I was done, so I went to work the next day, monday, really really bad move. To not get into the details, I ended up being rushed to the hospital. I started to lose to much blood, way more than what a normal miscarriage should be. I ended up having to have an emergency D/C, after losing my baby it was nothing. It didn't hurt and physical recovery was much easier than I thought it would be. I am still recovering mentally and I think that is why I am finishing this post.


I never knew what it was like for other people to have a m/c, I thought being that early is it really a big deal? are you really that 'attached'? I mean at 12 weeks I barely even felt pregnant, how could I be sooo upset. Well it is a big deal, I really truly feel like I lost a child. I ended up deciding to share my story to maybe give other people an insite into what a woman feels after she has a miscarriage. I could never begin to tell you all the feelings I'm having and had, but just a glimpse is still a powerful story and maybe help others with empathy towards this very common occurance.


Good news is I have almost fully physically recovered. My doctor said everything looks normal, I am just slightly anemic still because of how much blood I lost. My body will be fine, its my heart that still hurts. We will be able to have more children, I hope, I guess I will always be questioning until it finally happens again. One thing that did help is Caleb learned something awesome the week everything was happening, he learned to say, "I luv momma", he didn't know what I was going through, just that I needed lots of hugs and kisses and he was there for me, as well as Tony, he was and is really a great husband.

Now I look back at this picture and just think, this is how I was going to tell everyone I was pregnant, it would have been my first belly pic at 11.5 weeks, just days before we got the bad news. I love this picture.

Cider Mill

We just love going to the cider mill and today was the perfect day for it. Mid-60s so long-sleeve shirt weather. Got some apples and raspberries, and had some donuts and cider for lunch (yeah we're bad I know). I also got a couple pictures of Caleb actually looking at the camera!! Unfortunately they moved the tractor so I couldn't re-create the picture from last year but lets check out the flash back anyway!

October 4, 2008


September 27, 2009


October 4, 2008


September 27, 2009

Our Family Photoshoot

Yesterday after being lazy in the morning and an unplanned (but short) trip to the ER. We met up with fellow photographer Sarah from Pazy's Portraits. We did a photo shoot swap and really just hung out and had fun. Our boys got along very well (both the little ones and the bigger ones). We spent the evening downtown Mt. Clemens walking around and shooting each other. Then had a nice dinner at Bath City Bistro. Then they came over our house to finish the night off. Caleb was so sad when his new friend had to leave, it was so cute!

Here's one of their family.

And a snap I got of the boys together.


And heres a couple that Sarah got of us.

Grand Rapids mini vaca

Took a short trip out to Grand Rapids last weekend. Had fun despite the chilly weather. Got to see my Aunt, Uncle, Cousins and their kids. Super cute kids! We did a little bowling at my Uncle's Bowling Alley, then went to the cottage to relax and on Sunday we went to the Frederick Meijer Gardens. Sunday was the nicest day of the weekend so it worked out. The gardens were beautiful and we will definitely be going back. There is just soo much to see there and not enough time with a toddler to do it all at once.

I was determined to do some 18 month pictures of Caleb during our trip. BUT he just wasn't having it. That combined with the chilly rainy weather left me not taking to many pictures. I did manage to get this one, I just wish he was looking at the camera more, but this is Very Typical of him!

Lovin' this age...

Wow Caleb's age right now is soo much fun (almost 18 months). He has begun doing the shadow thing. Everything I do, he wants to do. I carry a purse to work, he wants to carry a bag or purse (so funny cause he found this green polka dot purse I use to use and he loves carrying it around). I dip my fries in ranch, he wants to dip his stuff in ranch. I was eating chips with humus today, he wanted to eat the chips in humus. It was pretty funny when he actually tasted the humus but I think he likes it b/c he kept on doing it.

I guess we are at the age where we have to be super careful of what we do when these little eyes are watching (and ears listening).

Next Monday, Caleb graduates into the next age daycare room. I'm kinda nervous about the change so we'll see how it goes! Luckily he is moving over with a friend so hopefully that will help.

First Hair Cut

So Sunday Caleb got his first hair cut from his Aunt Julie. We decided to keep it a tad longer since it is so thin. I like it though.








and the results (ok so today was pretty muggy so his hair was curling up all over :) so cute!!


and my artsy fartsy pic :)

Updates!!

Wow, I haven't posted in sooo long. honestly having 3 blogs is not easy, I just don't have time to update them all the time. O'well I will try. So since the 4th of July not a whole lot has changed. I finally figured what my next assignment at work will be, although I need to get it officially in writing before I bank to much on it :)

We had some health problems in our family, my grandmother just got out of the hospital, and ICU yesterday and Caleb has had his fair share of drama with medical stuff. But all that seems to be ending thank goodness!!

My little sister got engaged!! So that will be a fun wedding to start planning.

Oh and Caleb had his first kiss. Don't believe me? Well see for yourself!



Seriously who could resist this face?



He also got his first hair cut this past weekend. I took some pictures but I've been soo busy I haven't gotten to edit them yet. Will post that hopefully this week.

Everything else is going great. The photography thing is really taking off, and I'm having fun doing it on the side. Tony and I got to go see a movie tonight so that was nice, and Caleb is just the best toddler a mom could ever ask for.

4th of July 2009

Had a great time out at the marina for the fourth of July. Caleb had fun playing with his cousin, we went swimming, and he played with the 3d sidewalk chalk. Then he stayed up all night for the fireworks. I was super surprised, but I think he loved them!

Ready for the fireworks but oh sooo tired!

Just one picture of the fireworks.